As the afternoon sun's rays seeped through the boughs of the ancient oaks, Rotarians gathered for fun, food, festivities, and fellowship on the bucolic grounds of Anne and Chad Carper's estate.  We were greeted by J.B. White's trio+one (Sue Gilbreth on her violin), playing tasty tunes.  We were greeted by none other than Suzanne Scar and Lisa Malone.  We milled about, caught up in the beauty of the moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

After a sumptuous repast of salads, breads, tri-tip, chicken, and killer chili, we got down to business..

 

Soon to be ex-president Bill gave some opening remarks, visibly shaken by the presence of his brother who was there to set things right and fact check.  Bill offered a weak prologue by saying: "I hope that all of you will see that the slanderous things said about me this evening are just a matter of perspective."  He added that it was a blast to serve as President.  He felt humbled to be asked until he found out how desperate they were.  He then indicated that he had more than enough ego to overcome humility.

 

Past President Suzanne Scar then took the podium and gave a rather detailed history of our fair haired lad:

 

BASIC HISTORY

·         Born in Denver, CO  (Oct 30, 1937—will be 80 this year!)

·         The 2^nd of what became a family of 7 children

·         Moved to Baldwin Hill, CA in 1944 when his dad got a government job (with the IRS)

·         Went to St. Paul’s Catholic grammar school

·         Moved to Fresno in 1952 & “attended” San Joaquin Memorial High School (sporadically).  Claims to have learned nothing but became a good pool player (hustling for $$)

·         A less than satisfactory year and a half at Fresno State College

·         1957-58 hitchhiked around the country

·         Ended up in a boarding house in Birmingham, AL (brother John was in the same boarding house

Tried to sneak on a boat to Havana, Cuba as a stowaway to join Castro’s army in Key West, FL.  Got thrown off.

The representative from the Cuban government said, “That fake beard is fooling no one. Sorry, even we have our standards.” Within weeks, the Bay of Pigs invasion fell apart … coincidence? Some think not.

·          

·         Went to San Jose State College 1958-61, majoring in physics; graduated 1^st in the department

·         1961-63 worked at Lawrence Radiation Lab in Livermore, CA in physics

·         Took LSAT’s & was in 99.8%

·          1963-66 attended Harvard Law School on full scholarship

·         1966-68 worked for NY law firm Fish & Neave

·         1968-70 was a Federal Prosecutor with the U.S. Justice Dept.

·         1962 Adopted (with former wife) six-week old baby boy, son John Gilbreth, who is now married & the father of three in New City, NY

·         1970-74 returned to private practice with Fish & Neave

·         1974-75 was a Watergate prosecutor

1975-1995 represented clients in federal court litigation from Providence, RI to San Francisco Among his clients were several figures reputed to be in organized crime. Bill was heard to say that “since I’ve spent the past decade in the company of politicians and lawyers, I feel I am uniquely qualified to represent these unjustly accused Mobster-Americans. In fact, I feel I have improved my associations.”

·          

·         President of the NY Intellectual Property Bar Association

·         General Counsel for Big Brothers of NYC

·         Lots of pro bono cases including property stolen from a German Jewish family by the Nazis

·         Became involved in helping congregation of the Mountain of Holiness Deliverance, Inc. storefront church in Harlem, NYOne of his associates told him, “After your misspent youth, it’s probably too late for your salvation Bill, but hey, consider it an insurance policy … the premiums might be high, but you never know when you’ll need it.”

·         Acquired Birkenstocks & learned yoga after first open heart surgery in 1978

·         Retired to small town in the Hudson River Valley (Germantown, NY)

·         Met Suzanne LeFever in Rhinebeck, NY & taught her how to kayak on the Hudson River

·         Had a very busy year in 2000!  Got married, son Conway Curtis was born, and son John was married to Erin Balmer.

·         Saw the light & moved to Ojai, CA in 2004.  Became an avocado farmer. 

·         Joined Rotary in Ojai September, 2005….

·         So, let the record show, that Bill Gilbreth was officially impeached on his last minute of service as president of the Rotary Club of Ojai, this 30th day of July, in the year 2017

SOME OF BILL’S MORE COLORFUL STORIES

1.      Asked to give milk money to save “pagan babies” as a 2^nd grader at St. Paul’s Catholic School.  After contributing $5.00, asked for delivery of pagan baby, thinking he owned it.  Nuns tried to explain it, but “Billy” wasn’t buying it!

2.      As a fifth grader tried to ditch younger brother Steve while on bicycles.  Thought Steve was dead after being hit by a car, so went home & told grandmother brother was dead on the railroad tracks, where he had been knocked off his bicycle.  Grandmother told mother Steve had been hit by a train and killed.  All went to the scene of the accident and found Steve had been revived.

3.      Led into a life of crime by cousin Charlie while visiting him in Denver c. 1950.  Hit the town’s policeman, Marshal Brittle, with a water balloon.  Escaped with Charlie & hid in a field with the long arm of the law in hot pursuit, spotlight in hand.

4.      Grew up during summers on grandfather Conway’s ranch in Evergreen, CO, with cousins Helen & Bunny, horseback riding (bareback),

5.      Much later, while gainfully employed as a federal prosecutor in an early case, when the defendant in a courtroom pulled a razor blade, Bill jumped him & yelled “LET THE RECORD REFLECT THAT THE DEFENDANT HAS JUST PULLED A RAZOR & I’M GOING TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM HIM!”  Was recorded & played back at Bill’s retirement from law firm.

 

 

 

 

Not to be outdone, the Impeachment Committee, led by Dr. Marty Pops and Larry Wilde issued a litany of violations, meriting the often rumored movement.  The articles were drawn up, but President Mike Malone immediately gave a full pardon in a President Fordesque gesture just before the cuffs were slapped on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bill's brother, Steve, then related the challenges of growing up with our President.  He related a story of how Bill hung up on a Federal Agent, thinking it was a crank call.